How To Talk About Your Work So People Actually Get It
I do love to hear facilitators talk about facilitation: “It's the WD-40 of work processes!” “It transforms groups into communities!” Beautiful stuff. Completely useless for getting hired.
Perhaps you say similar things about what you do, whether that’s group facilitation; one-on-one coaching; training; Clean Language or whatever.
But talking like this, about whatever it is you do, is the problem - as revealed in the latest SessionLab State of Facilitation Report.
The thing is, that’s not the language clients use. According to the report:
“Honestly, most clients don’t naturally think in terms of ‘facilitation.’ They usually just describe what they need in much more practical terms like ‘we need to get unstuck on this decision,’ ‘we have to figure out our strategy for next year,’ or ‘there are tensions in the team we need to address.’”
“Clients usually say facilitation helps them get unstuck. Vague discussions become clear decisions.”
Some see it as “a neutral person chairing a meeting”
The report concludes: "Facilitators articulate value in terms of alignment, inclusion, clarity, and the deeper craft of designing productive group processes. Clients, by contrast, tend to describe outcomes in more immediate and concrete terms: productive meetings, smoother discussions, decisions reached, or conflict eased."
In other words, facilitators (and, by implication, other “people skills” people) need to use the client’s words when we talk about what we do.
Not using client-style words doesn’t just make you harder to understand - it makes you harder to hire, harder to recommend, and harder to remember when the budget conversation happens. The result? As the report found, 51% of facilitators rely on word-of-mouth alone for winning new business.
Here's what to do instead:
1. Listen! Find out what clients actually want to change
Instead of asking “What are your facilitation needs?” try “What’s not working right now?” or “What would you like to be different?” A client might say “We keep going round in circles” or “People aren’t speaking up” - that’s the real brief, not “we need better alignment.”
2. Remember their exact words
When they say “going round in circles,” don’t translate it in your head to “lack of decision-making clarity.” Write down “going round in circles.” Those specific words matter - they’re how the client experiences the problem.
3. Use those words (and metaphors) to describe what you can deliver
Your proposal becomes: “I’ll help you stop going round in circles and make a clear decision” not “I’ll create conditions for alignment and productive group process.” After the session, your follow-up says: “You said you were going round in circles - what’s happening now?”
That's how to talk about your work so people actually get it: use their words, not yours.
'Remember their exact words' - so important and yet so often overlooked by people wanting to look clever, paraphrasing and therefore prioritising THEIR OWN words over those of the clients.