Using Clean Language on Yourself
Over the last few years I’ve been asked many times, “Can you use Clean Language on yourself?”
My answer tends to be “Yes, but it may not be as useful as working with a coach.”
This is very live for me this week, because I’ve sent out a survey to members of my email list. I’ve asked them to help me decide what to do next, by telling me what they’d like from me. If you’d like to take part, click here.
A few people have sent jokey replies to the effect, “Maybe you need an X-Ray Listening session from yourself.” And it’s true, I probably do! But it’s easier said than done.
The thing about using the Clean Language questions on yourself is that you choose what question to ask, and what to ask about. And as Einstein apparently said, “Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.”
There are some heuristics which can help, such as the Power Switch, Framework for Change and the PRO model. But when you are stuck in thinking which is is determined to go round and round, it’s quite tricky to find the perfect question for yourself that will shift it to the next level.
An expert coach adds something new to the mix. If they’re working with Clean Language, they’ll direct your attention to the very edge of what you already know, so that the new insights flow thick and fast. Less Cleanly, they might offer advice, or just give their perspective on the situation – which you’ll decide whether to act on or not.
In that sense, doing a survey is like being coached by dozens of people at once!
Have you tried using Clean Language on yourself? What did you do, and how did it work for you? Please comment below.
Comments from original on judyrees.co.uk
Mat Rawsthorne
26 October 2012
I got the same kind of ‘meta-stating’ / stepback effect when I really got into doing CBT thought records – they became such an academic exercise they didn’t really impact on my mood much in the end. I think it is hard to use CL on yourself because part of it is the surprise/skill of change of focus by the questioner. Not to re-invent ELIZA, I think you could automate the questioning so you could use it on your own but in effect it would be another entity asking the questions and drilling down to clarity. The tricky thing with using technology is capturing and reflecting the non-verbals. All this thinking about thinking is trance-inducing too!
Judy
26 October 2012
Thanks Mat. Re automation, there is a Clean Cards app which asks questions, and also a couple of online Clean question-askers. But their effect is limited because the user still chooses what to ask about.
Maarten Aalberse
30 October 2012
I’m often surprized about what emerges when I write down my responses. And maybe walk around a bit before I ask myself the next question.
taking the reply with me, for a moment, before moving on.
This also feeds my curiosity.
If i only do a “clean inner dialogue”, I tend to get lost rather easy, or else remain in a all to familiar rut… And/or: “i fire away questions at myself” with not so friendly intentions…
Julie
30 October 2012
After afew sessions with a practice partner or CL coach I believe it is entirely possible to self coach with Clean. I don’t know if it would work otherwise as I’ve not tried that.
For me it really helps to draw the metaphor/situation I’m working on. Sometimes just filling in the details allows me to see/hear things I’d not noticed “in my head”. I agree that writing down the answers also helps. In my case I can notice all the I/eye, hear/here stuff and notice spaces between and containers and directions ……..all sorts of things that I’m not aware of when I’m speaking with a coach. Actually it is really surprising what emerges, I agree with Maarten! Plus I can take as long as I need to ask myself about everything and anything and take as long as I need to get into my body and feel if it’s “right”. Yes definitely possible to get deeper insights. Also I feel free to be entirely honest with myself which I might not always want to be with a coach.
Mike
30 October 2012
I have tried it on myself a few times and find it helpful – but no doubt not as effective as having an expert do it with you for all the reasons stated above. So I think it is useful for some ad hoc things – but it’s worth investing in a coach for the more heavyweight issues.
Elisabeth
30 October 2012
I’ve tried, without success…
But what I do is I listen to recordings of myself coaching others and then I play with… What would I’ve asked if I were using CL with myself?
jack austin
31 October 2012
Judy what brilliant taste!
You really chose outstanding examples for this post.
The difficulty of self-knowledge and self-investigation is legendary. The example of how through Beau Lotto’s examples is powerful and generative. The application ala Baruch Krauss is outstanding and inspiring. Knowing and doing make all the difference. What courage from Amy, Beau, Baruch and you! Bravo!
David Brown
19 February 2014
I woke from a disturbing dream this morning, and asked some clean questions about it, with very empowering results.
I suppose that being out of the dream provided a distinct dissociation. I have it in mind to combine clean language with multiple levels of dissociation, inspired by the work of Richard Bolstad