Interrupting is OK! Shall I write this on a banner and hang it out the window?
Some people seem to have the idea that using Clean Language means letting someone else do all the talking; that the instruction to 'listen well' means that they get to suck every drop of air from the room, while you flounder around trying to remember their words and waiting for a chance to squeeze a question in.
No! That's not the plan at all.
Clean Language is a precision questioning technique.
It's true that using Clean Language is great for encouraging people to tell their own stories, to reveal their truths. But especially when you're using Clean Language at work, it needs to have constraints.
At work, we're under pressure to do great things, fast. Clean Language helps to get the information you need, accurately and effectively.
As paediatric consultant Hesham Abdullah said: "It allows me really to cut to the chase. What matters to these people and what matters to me suddenly becomes very clear, crisp, concise and actually abbreviates the time - and that actually means of the time that we do have is much more valued and valuable."
Interrupting Is OK
A few weeks ago, I explained (previous post) how to use Clean Language with people who wouldn't stop talking, and readers asked for more detail on the mechanics of interrupting, elegantly.
So, here goes.
Clean brings some useful techniques to the table:
modelling their experience
parrot phrasing
distinguishing between their stuff and your stuff.
Modelling Their Experience
A person using Clean Language asks questions and listens to the answers. Then they ask more questions and listen to the answers. (Previous post)
What they are doing, technically, is “modelling”. They are creating, in their minds’ eye, a model of how the client is perceiving their world. And at the same time, they are helping the client to model themselves: to understand how it is that they are perceiving their own world.
As your picture of the client's world develops, your sense of the best time to interrupt will develop, too.
Parrot Phrasing
Using their words, as we do in Clean Language is a powerful psychological intervention. (Previous post)
And it's especially useful when you need to interrupt an especially talkative client.
Here's the trick: start by gently repeating a few of their key words back to them without intending to interrupt, sort of like an echo, or as if you are checking that you heard correctly.
You'll attract their curiosity, but without giving any kind of offence.
Increase your volume slightly, add a questioning tone, and they’ll start to reaffirm that they did, in fact, say the words you repeated, by saying them again.
And that's your in! Quick as a flash: "What kind of X?!" (Where X is something you actually want them to talk about.)
Distinguishing Between Their Stuff And Your Stuff
You’re probably familiar with the idea that Clean Language helps people to convey their own meaning, free of emotional or other distracting interpretations from others, and that Clean questions aim to reduce the questioner’s content and presuppositions as much as possible.
But that doesn't mean that's all there is to it.
When you're using Clean Language in your work, you do have an agenda. There's a job to do - whether you're a doctor wanting to make a diagnosis, a salesman wanting to find the best buyer, or a teacher wanting your student to learn an important concept.
Using Clean for yourself, asking yourself, "What would I like to have happen?" will help you be clear about what you would like from a conversation.
And the clearer you are, the easier it is to say, at the start of a conversation, "My purpose here is X."
When the other party agrees to continue the conversation, given that framing, you have a licence to direct their attention there, by asking questions about that X.
All conversations have framing, explicit or implicit. Make your life easier and make yours explicit.
Elegant Interruption Advice
So that's my advice: elegant interruption using Clean Language combines three key elements. Model their experience to understand when to interrupt; use parrot phrasing to create the interruption smoothly; and maintain a clear distinction between their stuff and yours through explicit framing. Together, these help to guide conversations effectively while maintaining rapport and respect.
What's been your experience with interrupting? Have you tried any of these techniques? What works for you - and what doesn't? I'd love to hear your stories and questions in the comments below.
And if you've found this useful, please share it with colleagues who might benefit from more elegant conversations.
Very practical advice, thank you!
Yes! So elegantly put. Thank you 🙏