It would seem there is a preset outcome or expectancy of the people who are challenging the use of ‘and what would you like to have happen’ … seems like an open statement … request for clarity … options abound
do they have a specific outcome in mind with their client in order to have challenged your intentions? my first thought 🙂
The challenge seems a bit off from the purpose of the session being CLEAN – the client’s understanding of self at a ‘deeper level’ – assuming that is an ok ‘outcome’ … allowing the client to have thoughts of something other than what they have – not an outcome as much as an understanding – what can I keep, what should I change?
I did not consider when you asked me that question as specifically outcome based as much as exploring alternative thoughts – ‘if you are not satisfied with this, what options do you have’ or ‘what else could it be if not that?’
asking myself this question opens my thoughts to options – ‘Oh, can I have a different result than what I have now? Hmmm …
Words have such varied meaning with different people so I think your asking is allowing for the exploration of meaning within self – not specific outcome based out side of self 🙂
perhaps the meaning of the word ‘Outcome’ is in question
perhaps it is my NLP training 🙂
love your blogs
James Lawley
28 April 2014
It’s a great subject to consider Judy.
I’ve found that some clients can get fed up if the coach asks “And what would you like to have happen?” too often – especially if the client thinks they have answered the question. To them it seems like they are not being listen too (and in some ways they are not).
One of the main times NOT to work with a desired outcome is when the client doesn’t have one, or can’t specify one, or they have one but they have a problem describing it.
In these cases continuing to ask “And what would you like to have happen?” puts the client in a bind.
These situations are more common in psychotherapy than they are in coaching where (in my 20+ years experience of both) they are rare.
Earlier this year I wrote a couple of blogs about such situations, and how to work with them.
Comments from original on judyrees.co.uk
Larry
24 April 2014
Judy,
It would seem there is a preset outcome or expectancy of the people who are challenging the use of ‘and what would you like to have happen’ … seems like an open statement … request for clarity … options abound
do they have a specific outcome in mind with their client in order to have challenged your intentions? my first thought 🙂
The challenge seems a bit off from the purpose of the session being CLEAN – the client’s understanding of self at a ‘deeper level’ – assuming that is an ok ‘outcome’ … allowing the client to have thoughts of something other than what they have – not an outcome as much as an understanding – what can I keep, what should I change?
I did not consider when you asked me that question as specifically outcome based as much as exploring alternative thoughts – ‘if you are not satisfied with this, what options do you have’ or ‘what else could it be if not that?’
asking myself this question opens my thoughts to options – ‘Oh, can I have a different result than what I have now? Hmmm …
Words have such varied meaning with different people so I think your asking is allowing for the exploration of meaning within self – not specific outcome based out side of self 🙂
perhaps the meaning of the word ‘Outcome’ is in question
perhaps it is my NLP training 🙂
love your blogs
James Lawley
28 April 2014
It’s a great subject to consider Judy.
I’ve found that some clients can get fed up if the coach asks “And what would you like to have happen?” too often – especially if the client thinks they have answered the question. To them it seems like they are not being listen too (and in some ways they are not).
One of the main times NOT to work with a desired outcome is when the client doesn’t have one, or can’t specify one, or they have one but they have a problem describing it.
In these cases continuing to ask “And what would you like to have happen?” puts the client in a bind.
These situations are more common in psychotherapy than they are in coaching where (in my 20+ years experience of both) they are rare.
Earlier this year I wrote a couple of blogs about such situations, and how to work with them.